She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
