He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
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