Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
