Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize