Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the high leading the old right now
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize