dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
