I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
