what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
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