She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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