I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize