do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
