How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
It all started with a game of naked twister.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
