Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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