Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
