he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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