You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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