I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Randomize
