Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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