you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
