im gay
i know
yea but for you.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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