is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Randomize
