i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Randomize
