i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
