have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
