"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
