There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
