4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
