i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I fill condoms, not promises.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
