I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
