wrigley field is MILF paradise
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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