i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Randomize
