I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
