Having a random hookup so left but love u
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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