You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize