Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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