You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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