I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
