I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
