I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
