I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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