what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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