She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
