"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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