okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize