i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
