so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
