I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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