We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize