I wanna bring you to show and tell
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
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