update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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