I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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