the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
