god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Randomize
