Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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