I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Randomize
