I can tuck mytits in my pants
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
ok first of all what the fuck
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