she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
