Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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