Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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